What's My Age Again?

I really don't understand why people keep saying "Congratulations on Graduating!" or when I see someone's facebook status and it says "YAY DONE WITH FINALS!!!!!!!!"

First of all, college barely feels like an accomplishment these days. Have you heard of Sparknotes, Wikipedia, or any other tool that helps people get As? I mean, sure I struggled over papers and tests sometimes. But, like I have said tons of times, none of these felt extremely consequential. Guess what, the world goes on if you get a B on your paper! My B on a paper does not change the fact that I have a roof over my head, food in my mouth, and health insurance. It made me laugh to myself when I heard people stressing that much about their grades. I understand stressing about a job, which makes a real difference in your life, but for the most part, grades don't do that. Most people just want grade for solipsistic reasons anyway.

Secondly, why are so damned excited? Are you really telling me that you are more relieved to be done with finals than you are to start the rest of your life in THE WORKFORCE? I say, bring on the finals if it puts off employment!

College was by far the easiest thing I have ever done in my life. It in no way prepared for me the real world. High school felt like the real world in comparison. I use this term "real world" all the time, what does it even mean? Does it imply that college is the fake world? Certainly feels that way.

Baby Talk

It is only a matter of time before you start talking to your significant other in a way you wouldn't want the public to hear. You use some weird voice and your language disintegrates into mush. I can barely talk to Nick on the phone in public anymore without slipping. And I know I am not alone, because I hear my friends talk to their boyfriends and I laugh to myself, or out loud. I find that really funny, the way that couples talk to each other in a sort of embarrassing morsecode, and this is a sign of true intimacy. I guess that makes sense though, since nobody wants to share their secret couple language with anyone else. And I think this is true across couples, it doesn't really matter what type of person you are. After a while, you create this alternate universe full of silly nicknames, perverted inside jokes, and conversations about that time you said something ridiculously stupid ( like the time you called Islam a language, not that I did that or anything.)

I think being closer to babies, in any way, makes you a happier person (unless you actually have one.) I am surely this barely makes sense, but oh well, that is why it is just my blog and not something that is actually getting published. Anyway, I think about young couples a lot. How beautiful they look, totally fresh and unburdened by anything by their love for one another. The world is full of possibilities and all the liberties of life like travel and exploration can be done with this partner, this person you have fun with. I love looking at young married couples too, with babies. Before the parents start calling each other mom and dad and the mother is not overweight yet and the father does not look overtired. Basically, before they have given themselves to parenthood and the workforce completely. There is this quote that reminds me of that image from a Meg Wolitzer novel, "What babies they were, those children, all children, for no one forgets the early pleasure of seeing two parents together; no one forgets the incomprehensible safety and symmetry of that image. For children, parents aren't a two-backed beast but instead an enormous two-winged bird, each parent represented a wing, with all the children riding on top, holding on by grabbing tufts of feathers, letting themselves be carried aloft."

Old White Men

I think that I think about old white men way too often. When my grandfathers died last year I began wondering how men could live into their 80s. I began wondering what Nick was going to look like as an old man, and If I would have to be his caretaker like Omi did for a few years. My dad was jealous. It seemed like the widows got all the luck. They got to spend their older years taking watercoloring classes and going on group tours to Europe. While on the other hand, in most cases, these women's husbands had spend much of their adult life providing for a family they didn't spend enough time with.
Also some of my favorite entertainers are old white men. Larry David and Woody Allen come to mind .
There are a few remnants of my grandfathers that I keep around. Pictures, a videotape my grandfather recorded in Rhode Island. I can't think of anything more precious. He taped inane things like me and max taking swimming lessons. There is this one incredible shot of him filming gorgeous 4-year-old Max on the beach, and you can see his shadow. His wide body and silly straw hat, his fanny pack and camera case. There are a few recordings of papa too. He always managed to say something silly, even if it was only for five seconds. Recently his voicemail greeting on Omi's machine deleted itself, it made me sort of upset.

I also noticed the other day, a little late to notice this I know, that all my professors are old white men. Sort of charming in their own way, lived-in, grandchildren and wives etc.Papa was a professor. Sometimes I wonder, will Nick be up there as a cute old man talking about something funny I said to a room full of 20somethings texting on their cellphones? One can only hope. It seems like a pretty nice life, if you can live long enough to have it.